Family project: We are in a little jam....

When we first told the kids that, this summer, we would be going on a missions trip to Honduras, their first concerns were about money. It amazes me how kids can take on the worries of the world at a such a young age. Last summer, I decided to homeschool. We were going to become a one income family for the first time since I had had a newborn. They have watched us trim our expenses here or there and I'm sure they've heard Mike and I talk about budgets and inflow vs. outflow, but never thought they would take on that burden in any capacity.

However, when their first worry was money, I was actually excited. That's the same worry I had when I went on my first trip and through it, I was able to watch God work on and stretch my faith as I had to rely on him fully for finances. I want that for my kids!! If anything through our new life in the last year, I want them to understand that money just doesn't appear and that it's not unlimited. But even more... I want them to grasp that everything we have has been given to us by a God who loves us and wants the best for us.

We were able to talk about ways that God will supply all our needs and how we can't do this trip alone. We need friends and family to help us and partner with us. As Michael and I sat to write partnership request letters, we talked about how we might physically be going to Honduras, but so many people will be coming with us in spirit.

Have I mentioned how excited I am about all that God is teaching us through this trip??

Well... after some simple brainstorming, the girls suggested that we make something. I suggested that in order to raise money for our trip to Honduras, we could make jam.

I have never made jam before.

Now, we happen to live very close to Plant City, Florida, which happens to be home to the Florida Strawberry Festival. Since most people online said that strawberry jam is a good beginning place for canning, we decided that would be our jam. (pun intended)

We were joined by my cousins and their boys out at Favorite Farms and in just about an hours time had picked about 30 quarts of strawberries. I highly recommend Favorite Farms. The berries were great, the location was awesome and at $1.00 for 2 quarts, the price was amazing.

We brought our treasure home and decided very quickly that rinsing and washing these berries in the sink was just not going to happen easily and that's when I remembered when my mom used our bathtub to rinse strawberries, probably from the same farm, when I was my kids age.

Our tub of berries was pretty amazing and after the girls dreamed of jumping in with the berries, it was on to the next step. I promise. It was only dreaming. There was no floating on a sea of fruit happening. ;)

We hulled and mashed our five cups of strawberry yumminess. We measured out the cups and cups of sugar. We squeezed ever last drop of lemon juice from the lemons.

Then we had a science lesson. Again, I have never "canned" before. (Yes... we used jars, but for some reason 'canning' is the proper lingo. I don't know why... but go with it for a minute.) Since this was a whole new experience, we had to look up all the ins and outs and how-tos. We learned that you can't put a room temperature jar into boiling water, it needs to gradually rise in temperature with the water. We learned that you can't pour strawberries that have been "violently boiling" into a cool jar or you might have a broken jar and oozing jam all over. We also learned that when you water bath in your canning process, the pressure from the water is what pushes out the air to help create that vacuum seal to keep out bacterias.

Kudos to all those who followed that paragraph.

After our jars were done canning, we were the proud cooks of the best strawberry jam ever made in this house! After the 24 hour setting period was over, we enjoyed some of our hard work and ultimately were pretty impressed with ourselves.

But this is a fundraiser, so after that first batch was complete... we repeated it. Seven times.

72 jars of jam later, I bring you Branda Jam.

But WAIT!! There's more!! We are selling it!!

This can be yours for a simple $15 donation per half pint jar. We will accept cash or check. Comment below, Facebook message me, or email me to reserve your jar and instructions on donating! 

It's first come, first serve, so HURRY!! Let me warn you, my sisters have already purchased TEN jars! 

If you'd like to become a full partner for our trip, you can read more here about that.

... and now I will tempt you with examples of its yummy goodness... 

We had such a fun experience learning how to can and working together. Here are two fun facts. One... my kids actually dislike strawberry jam. But they all wanted to try what they worked so hard to make. Two... This was all done, from picking to the 72nd jar coming out of the pot, in a 48-hour period. I was leaving for a conference in Virginia and knew the berries wouldn't last until I got back. Just so you know... 30 quarts of strawberries is a lot. Even after our 72 jars... I had enough berries to do at least another 27 or so. :) 

I'm so grateful to have the ability to learn and grow with these kids and the experience was worth it alone. If you would like the recipe, or tips on canning, let me know! I'll direct you to all the fabulous websites I found that helped me learn a new trick and even share what I would and wouldn't do next time. 

Now.... buy some jam. :) 

Lesson #2: Responsibility aka "growing up is lousy"

Tween. A noun speaking of a boy or girl aged 9 - 12. Yep. It's a word in the dictionary.

I have two.

They are one year apart.

One boy and one girl.

I am pretty sure that I am undergoing some crazy intense training on this level of parenting. One might think that lack of sleep was the hardest part of being a parent, but I'm beginning to rethink that thought process. The emotions and the drama and sudden development of self-image are going to break me in ways that lack of sleep never did.

Lack of sleep had a remedy. Coffee. But this?? I am starting to understand the development of stronger drinks. Jack Daniels obviously had tweens. Let me give you a few examples as to why I've come to this conclusion...

Example A... Tween girl is told that instead of book work for history today, she will be watching a short video about the history of Israel. This wasn't a surprise. She knew about this all day, but decided to watch it after lunch. To the normal human, this sounds like a great deal. I remember those exciting days when I was a teacher and would put on a video instead of making students open a book, they cheered! To the tween, what began as a civilized idea for the day, has become the worst possible thing EVER. I'm still not sure what happened. I don't know where the change of attitude towards the movie turn. It just did. She just walked into my room and pouted. They just pout. And cry.

Even the boys.

Example B... Tween boy finds a video game that he really wants to play. He talks the game up for days. He is told that one of the parents will look up the details of the game and let him know. Understand that both parents are video game illiterate. We don't know the differences between one bang 'em up-shoot 'em up game from the other. We do know that we aren't fans of all these role playing games that involve shooting anything at anyone. So, a simple glance at a game with a glaring M on the cover, should be evidence enough for a simple no. M = 17 +, the negative approval should be understood. Not for the tween boy. I have apparently made him a glaring laughing stock among all the other YOUNGER boys in the neighborhood. Tears begin to fall and fall and fall. I am left standing there dumbfounded that this topic was even thought to be one that I'd agree with.

Where has my parenting faltered?

They don't talk to you. They don't "use their words". Remember training them to do since they were goo-ing and gaa-ing? They will not remember this when they hit this frustrating age. Their moods change as often as the weather in Florida does and there is no warning. They could be hugging you right now, but as soon as they turn the corner, you have now hurt their feelings and they will never recover.

One might think that they are mentally unstable. I did at first, but here is what I'm starting to realize... They are just having an inner battle. They are suddenly realizing that they are fully responsible for every aspect of their life.

Now, I'm not saying that I have GIVEN them responsibility for every aspect of their life. I am saying that I am starting to give them responsibility and I am teaching them that soon, they won't want me to be helping them every step of the way.

I am not dumb. I have been teaching high schoolers for quite some time. I've heard the complaints about any and all sources of authority in the lives of teens. I know that one day, that could be my kids. But you see... these teenagers all want to have full control of everything, but what most of them miss is the consequences that come with responsibilities. No one has taught them the fact that responsibility is the call to have a duty to DO something. It is a choice! You can either take responsibility, or you just don't. You can blame someone else, you can give excuses, you bring up all the reasons why you can't have the responsibility or you can step up and handle it with maturity and growth. Until you can handle it, you shouldn't be given it.

I will be a terrible parent, if I let my children believe that they can just cast responsibility aside. So it starts now. Just a little bit of responsibility... chores, decisions about meals or clothes, and other good tween responsibilities.

But here is where they are starting to revolt. They want more. They want to make their own decisions about video games and whether or not they watch a movie or do book work. But they don't understand, that while those might not seem like life-changing decisions, it is the very precedent that shows me they aren't ready for those responsibilities. The choices that they would make if I left it to them, does not show growth or an ability to handle that responsibility.

If at a basic level, they can't make good responsible decisions, why would I give them more?

That frustrating, hard-to-understand, utterly confusing question is battling inside of them.

I am trying to get them to see that I am training them into making good, solid decisions, but when they can't, as their mom, I step in to make that decision and take the weight off of them and just tell them mom's choice. This is all in hopes that, soon, they'll understand why I make the choices that I do. Then, one day, they'll make responsible choices too.

It's a lot to grasp. It's a lot to wrap our minds around. However, I'm hoping that they see that growing up is lousy and that they try not to rush it. Until then, I'll be doubling my coffee intake until they move past the emotional, drama-filled reactions to life. When does that happen?? A year? Two? After college?? Somebody please tell me they do move past it...

Classroom details: From day one until now... perfection isn't happening

Okay. Confession time.

I am a perfectionist.

If you have ever stepped into my house, that statement might make you laugh. Our house is definitely "lived-in". There is numerous piles of laundry, both clean and dirty. The counters usually are covered with something. We still have boxes in a corner from when we moved in nearly four years ago and hardly a picture on the walls. I would say that the reason those are like that is simply because I was never given an inner interior decorator, and because I am a perfectionist, I'd rather look at blank walls and full boxes instead of throwing stuff up on walls or displaying stuff out on shelves that just doesn't look right. Makes perfect sense, right?? Yeah... my dear husband doesn't think so either. 

But my perfectionist nature is coming to the rescue in many aspects of my life. I am not a good housewife and that drives me crazy. So since I am taking this year to focus on family, that is one of my personal goals. I want to be that housewife with a nice, welcoming and open home. Yes, complete with the smell of chocolate chip cookies when you walk in the door. 

Right now, I've at least gotten most of the laundry off the chairs. 

Baby steps...

So, keeping this in mind, I went into the first week of school knowing that it wouldn't be perfect, but I wanted to learn and watch and see what I could do to make it all just work for us. I don't care if my kids grasp every concept, every time. I care that what we do works for us. How do I take this whole homeschool concept, add in my thoughts of "the LOVE project", and make it flow? That's what I am trying to figure out. 

I am using a great curriculum. It was expensive, but for our first year, I didn't want to consistently wonder if I was missing something or basically screwing my kids up for whatever we decide to do for school next year. Perfectionist, remember?

Our first day started out with a basic written schedule. Actually, it was more like an order of events. I knew what subjects I'd have to work one-on-one with and what were more student-led, so I balanced all those out. I also wrote out these great lesson plans, just like I did when I was teaching. Once for each kid and one for the whole family. I was completely prepared for day one...

And we survived it.

But we are now on to week five. Things have changed. We have had a lot of "unexpected happenings" and a lot of growing and learning with each other. I am having to learn exactly how my kids work the best. They are having to learn how I teach and what I expect. We are all having to learn how to love each other and be with each other so much of the time.

Long gone are the perfected lesson plans. As great as they were, they were too perfect. We aren't a perfect people and I can't expect that. We have a more simplistic plan now and I can't promise that it is filled out each week, but I 'm trying. We still have a daily schedule, but it changes. Often. Very often. We had started with everyone at the table doing school together, but only in the last few days, have I migrated into my office and started pulling one kid in at a time to work individually. That was one of their suggestions. They have a hard time focusing on tests and their harder subjects, so by working at my desk, they work faster and feel more confident. I can work with that.

We still have a great little "school area" in our dining room that one day will hopefully have a white board and lots of maps and globes and books. It makes me feel good to sit in that room with them all and see little lights click on above their heads. I've only had one mental breakdown with math. This English major claims that as success! However, I blame the ruler manufacturer for even that one. We try and spend one day a week at our library, where we don't even need a library card because they all know us. Oh and our LOVE project? It's a challenge. We are being stretched. We are learning that sometimes in order to grow in certain areas, we have to become very uncomfortable. That's both literal and figurative.

Me? I'm learning that sometimes I can't be perfect. I might have dreams of granduer for our whole homeschool project and while some of them will come to pass and we'll be successful, most probably won't AND THAT'S OKAY. I didn't start this process with the thought that I had to be perfect. My "self" just crept into my plans. While being a perfectionist is helping me in a lot of areas, it's also helping me realize how perfect some imperfections are. Our daily work is happening and we are doing great. It's not perfect by most standards, but for now? It's what we need... which makes it perfect. ;)

~ c 

Lesson #1: Trust aka "The hardest thing EVER"

I think trust is the hardest thing someone can learn. Everyday, we are met with instances where we feel let down. In our jobs, with our kids and families, even at our churches, we all take a step out with hopes and expectations in things and when those aren't met, we immediately step back put up a little bit of a wall. We don't like that feeling that we felt when we took a chance and found it hurting us.  So, we do whatever it takes to not feel it again. Usually, that comes in a form of not trusting something or someone again.

So when we read in scripture a verse that says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart..." (Prov. 3:5), while we immediately want to do so and know that we should, do we really know what it means to trust? Can we grasp the idea of fully relying on the character and strength of God? '

I know I struggle with it.

This whole idea of homeschooling for me is becoming a demand of my trust in God. Remember, I'm not the one that went into this whole adventure with warm, fuzzy feelings. I actually pouted and whined about the thought when it was first brought up. I had to be continually sought after before I began to accept it as a possibility.

One thing that had to happen was that the kids had to be turned down for admittance at a performing arts charter school in our area. My kids love to perform. They all sing and dance and speaking in front of people is almost second nature to them and when we began searching for possibilities for the 2013/2014 school year, this school was the stand out favorite. So, in my "nothing is going to stop us" mindset, we attended an open house and I thought for sure my kids were meant to be there. I signed them all up and put their names into a lottery for acceptance. It would be another two months before we knew, but I said that if they didn't get in there, I'd look into homeschooling, but only because I was sure they'd get in.

They didn't.

God knew what I needed for this school year. God knew what my kids needed for this school year.

But don't you know that just when you are starting to trust, something comes along to test you in that? The day after I finally wrote my first blog post and finally stated to the world my intentions, we got a phone call.

From the charter school. They had opened spots up for the kids.

I wish I could say that my first reaction was, "Thanks, but no thanks. We have this year all figured out.", but it wasn't. Not even close. We've been running into a few snags with homeschooling and being down to one income and all the other things that come with some semi-major life changes and to the earthly eye, this could be an answer to all of that. Except.... all I could hear in my spirit was "Trust me".

Trust me.

So here we are and all I can do is say, "Okay God, I'm trusting". I did call the charter school and turn down the opened spots. I pray that those spots are an answer to someone else's prayers. I would be lying if I said that was easy and that not a single part of me was second-guessing that decision, but I need to trust. I HAVE to trust. This could be the hardest part about this whole experience and adventure. But I don't want to look back and think to myself that I gave up on an opportunity to grow and learn and be faithful, just because it was the easier route. Especially when I am getting to the point of recognizing the Spirits ever-so sweet voice and I know that he said to trust.

So, lesson #1 of "The LOVE Project" wasn't for my kids. It was for me. Thanks God. I needed this one. Please help me be faithful in continuing that, because this is not an easy lesson to learn.

And to anyone who is reading this. Please pray for me? We haven't worked through all the snags and we are hoping for a September 3rd start date for classes, but a few things are going to have to be worked out for that to happen, so say a prayer for me and the husband and the kiddos? I appreciate it more than I could ever express.