Dear Hannah ~ A letter to my daughter...

When my son turned 10, I felt the need to commemorate it with a letter. I guess when your mom is a writer by nature, you should get used to get something handwritten on big events, right? Anyway... I decided that I would write all of my children on their 10th birthdays a letter. I mean, double-digits is a big deal! However... Hannah turned 10 in June. Six months ago.

But such is the life of a middle child, she was forgotten.

I know... "Mom of the Year"... right?? sigh... I wish I had some great excuse, but I don't. Which kinda makes me feel even more guilty. However, Hannah wouldn't be happy if I felt bad. Again, middle-child. She's the peacemaker and she only wants people to be happy. Basically, I am late in giving, the most amazing kid ever, a very important letter. Ugh.

I'll never make this up to her, but I will attempt to try.

So on her half-birthday, which is today, I am giving her the letter that has been LONG over due....

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Hannah Faith ~ June 2, 2003 

My dearest middle-child,

I cannot believe that ten (and a half...) years has past since a nurse told me that I had a beautiful girl. I was dumbstruck.

No.

Really.

Dumbstruck.

I asked her if she was sure you were REALLY a girl. I had decided that I was going to be a mom of all boys. I already had one and thought I was an expert. Yep. It was going to be all boys for me. Ha! Unlike most sane people, your dad wanted to keep your gender a surprise until you were born. Surprised could be considered an understatement.

5 months old

Apparently, after I insulted the nurse, and her gender determining skills, your father confirmed to me that you were, in fact, a girl. It then dawned on me that every old wives tale about guessing the baby's gender was completely false. That's when I suddenly realized that while I had practiced my parenting skills on a boy, I was now getting ready to embark on another new adventure.

The mother of a girl.

Now, Hannah, you have to understand, I was never a very typical girl. Never the cutesy princess who pranced around in pink ruffles, and spent hours and hours perfecting her "duck face" in the bathroom mirror, or whatever little girls do. I was more of the build a fort in the middle of the cypress swamp, after you have spent the morning cleaning your catch from the lake kind-of-kid. Honestly, most days, I was either covered in dirt or hidden behind a book which probably made it hard to tell that I was even a girl...

So often, I wanted to be the girly girl who was graceful, talented, and called a princess. However, those titles were given to my baby sisters, not me, so I felt that I needed to live up to something else. I was the adventurous, determined, brilliantly smart girl that made things happen. Those were great things to be and made me enjoy every minute of my childhood and all aspects of growing-up. I never had regrets that I didn't know how to braid hair or really even brush it!

But when you are sitting in a hospital bed, holding a little baby girl, all you think about is pink.

one year old

Being a girl is a tricky thing. Long gone are the days where a girl was expected to grow up, become a wife, then a mother, and live to serve her family. Now, you can do that, if you want, or you can go to school, start a business, or even run a country.

So.

Many.

Options.

And there I was, ten years ago, wanting you to have every one of those options in front of you, but if you had wanted to become the next top model, Lord, help me, I was not prepared for having a girl.

2 years old

Hannah, I am about to tell you one of the biggest secrets about myself. The entire time I was growing up, I was intimidated by every girl I knew. I never knew how to connect with them, because I didn't think I could ever measure up to them. They were flawless and I had freckles. They were elegant and I was forceful. They were girls and I was... just me. Instead of letting that bother me, I just embraced being different and became comfortable with, in my mind, not being as good as they were.

It wasn't until I looked into your eyes that I realized that I never had a reason to be intimidated by anyone. That I had been made perfect. Precious. Beautiful.

Just like you.

3 years old

Over the last ten years, you haven't been the only one growing up. I have been too. You see, I discovered what it was like to be a girl, when I had a girl. I took the determination that I've always had and changed a lot of my thoughts and routines. I fell in love with fashion bloggers. I chose mud masks over mud pies. I made myself a bulletin board with images, pictures, and quotes that celebrated being a girl. I even found myself loving the color pink.

Now, I'm not telling you this because I think that you have to be a girly girl who has a perfect "duck face."

Actually, side note, don't do the "duck face."

Ever.

Consider that wisdom passed down. Anyway... back to your letter...

4 years old

I'm telling you this because I want you to know that you never, EVER have to settle into a specific description of yourself. It doesn't matter if you are ten, twenty, thirty-three, or eighty, you can reinvent who you are, as often as you want, whenever you want.

You were not designed to be the same person forever and there is nothing that you can't do. So, if you decide that you want to do ballet for the next ten years and then decide that you want to join the peace corps, do it! You can be a scientist and a mom and an artist and anything else you put your mind to.

There is only one thing that you have to promise me you will do.

7 years old with her big brother

About a year and a half ago, I gave your brother a list of commitments. They were things that I promised him that I would do as he continued to grow. They weren't just limited to him. You can hold me to every one of those commitments.

But with you, I want to ask you to promise me one thing.

Promise me that you will always listen.

8 years old

Listen to those who speak life, so that you can learn to speak it.
Listen to all kinds of music, so that you can relate to anyone, anywhere.
Listen to your family, so that you know you are loved.
Listen to the sounds of the oceans and wind, so that you know where home is.
Listen to your heartbeat, so that you know today was a gift.
Listen to those who came before you, so that you can learn from them.
Listen to your dreams, so that you can achieve them.

Listen to the voice of God, so that you know his voice and never doubt his presence in your life.

Listen. And I will too.

9 years old

That's all I want you do promise me that you will do. If you are always listening, you will never doubt who you are or what you should be doing, you will know when it's time to move and time to be still and you will be confident in every decision you make. The Bible says that the sheep listen to the shepherds voice and know it. (John 10:27) As long as you listen and know that voice, everything else will fall into line and you will be successful in everything that God has for you.

Hannah, I would give you the world, but I know that you have it in you to go out and get it for yourself.

I love you so much. Thank you for letting me grow with you. Listen to me when I say... never stop. Never stop growing. Never stop listening.

Love You Princess Banana.

~ mommy

10th Birthday!!! 

Project Update #2: What is the LOVE project?

I know what you are asking.... What the heck is the LOVE project? I thought you were homeschooling.

Yes, I am. But I've never been one to do things the "normal" way. Let's see... I was married too young. I had kids too close together. I have no problems leaving my kids with their dad for weeks as I travel around the world. I like dessert before dinner. I make my kids be independent and I let them watch way too much T.V. I guess you could say that things in my life have never been... expected.

So why should homeschooling be any different for me? I have to do this my way in order to make it work. So, this is my way. In addition to the normal reading, writing and arithmetic, I am adding my own personality and passion to our curriculum.

For the past seven years, I have taught high school electives. There is a reason for that. As much as I know there is an importance to core classes, (I've lost count at how many times I've corrected high schoolers on the importance of "John and I", not "John and me") it's in the electives that I got to teach from my heart because the classes were things that I was passionate about.

I'm just doing the same thing, but at home. I am teaching what I am passionate about. I have the next nine months to pour into my kids a little bit of the legacy that I hope to leave with them for the rest of their lives. That's really how the LOVE project was birthed. So in additions to the wonders of the aBeka Curriculum, this is what I'm going to attempt to do...

The LOVE Project is based on three foundations: LOVE God. LOVE family. LOVE people. After we finish our core work each day, we will be venturing into some assignment or project that will fall into one of those three foundations.

LOVE God is going to start with simply teaching my kids the importance of church and church family and why we "do church" the way that we do. Each Sunday, my kids take communion, they sing songs, they listen to a lesson or a message, but do they understand why they are doing it? They have been raised in church their whole lives, so things that we do out of church traditions or biblical teachings have become more routine to them. Do they really understand what baptism is and what it means? or do they just assume its something that everyone does? I am going to cover all of those things and open it up to Qs and As. Is there something confuses them or things that they've heard that didn't make sense?

We have been blessed to have been able to enroll all three of them in private, christian schooling since they were all in kindergarten and they all could preach on some aspects of our faith, but it wasn't the school's job to make sure they know these things, it's my job.

LOVE family is going to dive into who we are and where we come from. Family is very important to me. Maybe it's because mine is so large; Maybe it's because mine has been through so much, but family should always come just after God and I want my kids to grasp that importance in how they relate to each other. Family - one of the few things in life that we have no choice over, so we need to learn to love them.

My kids are so lucky. They have five living great-grandparents. They have access to some amazing history and family stories and moments. Over the next nine-months of school, we will be studying one branch of their great-grandparents each month. They'll interview family, cook family recipes, and participate in family traditions. I want them to realize what a blessed life they live simply because of the people who came before them. It's history they won't learn in books, but it's history that they should know.

LOVE people is my response to 1 Corinthians 13. I know lots of people think of this chapter has one that is read at many weddings, but I don't know that I agree with the thought that this is only a chapter for "couples". Paul was writing a letter to the church in Corinth and was talking about the church, the body of Christ, when he wrote this chapter. I think that this chapter is all about how we treat people, ALL people.

We are going to step out of "our world" and look around us. We are going to work in our local community and subdivision. We are going to help in our state and in our country. We are going to look at the nations and see what is happen all around us. They need to realize that there is more than just us. They know that mom loves to go "teach people about Jesus", but it's my goal to plant that seed in them this year. I am praying that their eyes are opened to the people living around them.

All three of these will come to a wrap with our end-of-the-year project, a missions trip. It is my prayer and my hope that in June of 2014, we will travel as a family, with our church family, to Honduras. I spent time there this past summer and I want my kids to see what mom does when she travels and I want them to see first hand how important it is to LOVE God, LOVE family and LOVE people.

So that's the WHAT.

Here goes trying to make it all happen.

School starts next Tuesday.

Pray for us.