I am a perfectionist.
If you have ever stepped into my house, that statement might make you laugh. Our house is definitely "lived-in". There is numerous piles of laundry, both clean and dirty. The counters usually are covered with something. We still have boxes in a corner from when we moved in nearly four years ago and hardly a picture on the walls. I would say that the reason those are like that is simply because I was never given an inner interior decorator, and because I am a perfectionist, I'd rather look at blank walls and full boxes instead of throwing stuff up on walls or displaying stuff out on shelves that just doesn't look right. Makes perfect sense, right?? Yeah... my dear husband doesn't think so either.
But my perfectionist nature is coming to the rescue in many aspects of my life. I am not a good housewife and that drives me crazy. So since I am taking this year to focus on family, that is one of my personal goals. I want to be that housewife with a nice, welcoming and open home. Yes, complete with the smell of chocolate chip cookies when you walk in the door.
Right now, I've at least gotten most of the laundry off the chairs.
Baby steps...
So, keeping this in mind, I went into the first week of school knowing that it wouldn't be perfect, but I wanted to learn and watch and see what I could do to make it all just work for us. I don't care if my kids grasp every concept, every time. I care that what we do works for us. How do I take this whole homeschool concept, add in my thoughts of "the LOVE project", and make it flow? That's what I am trying to figure out.
I am using a great curriculum. It was expensive, but for our first year, I didn't want to consistently wonder if I was missing something or basically screwing my kids up for whatever we decide to do for school next year. Perfectionist, remember?
Our first day started out with a basic written schedule. Actually, it was more like an order of events. I knew what subjects I'd have to work one-on-one with and what were more student-led, so I balanced all those out. I also wrote out these great lesson plans, just like I did when I was teaching. Once for each kid and one for the whole family. I was completely prepared for day one...
And we survived it.
But we are now on to week five. Things have changed. We have had a lot of "unexpected happenings" and a lot of growing and learning with each other. I am having to learn exactly how my kids work the best. They are having to learn how I teach and what I expect. We are all having to learn how to love each other and be with each other so much of the time.
Long gone are the perfected lesson plans. As great as they were, they were too perfect. We aren't a perfect people and I can't expect that. We have a more simplistic plan now and I can't promise that it is filled out each week, but I 'm trying. We still have a daily schedule, but it changes. Often. Very often. We had started with everyone at the table doing school together, but only in the last few days, have I migrated into my office and started pulling one kid in at a time to work individually. That was one of their suggestions. They have a hard time focusing on tests and their harder subjects, so by working at my desk, they work faster and feel more confident. I can work with that.
We still have a great little "school area" in our dining room that one day will hopefully have a white board and lots of maps and globes and books. It makes me feel good to sit in that room with them all and see little lights click on above their heads. I've only had one mental breakdown with math. This English major claims that as success! However, I blame the ruler manufacturer for even that one. We try and spend one day a week at our library, where we don't even need a library card because they all know us. Oh and our LOVE project? It's a challenge. We are being stretched. We are learning that sometimes in order to grow in certain areas, we have to become very uncomfortable. That's both literal and figurative.
Me? I'm learning that sometimes I can't be perfect. I might have dreams of granduer for our whole homeschool project and while some of them will come to pass and we'll be successful, most probably won't AND THAT'S OKAY. I didn't start this process with the thought that I had to be perfect. My "self" just crept into my plans. While being a perfectionist is helping me in a lot of areas, it's also helping me realize how perfect some imperfections are. Our daily work is happening and we are doing great. It's not perfect by most standards, but for now? It's what we need... which makes it perfect. ;)
~ c
Our first day started out with a basic written schedule. Actually, it was more like an order of events. I knew what subjects I'd have to work one-on-one with and what were more student-led, so I balanced all those out. I also wrote out these great lesson plans, just like I did when I was teaching. Once for each kid and one for the whole family. I was completely prepared for day one...
And we survived it.
But we are now on to week five. Things have changed. We have had a lot of "unexpected happenings" and a lot of growing and learning with each other. I am having to learn exactly how my kids work the best. They are having to learn how I teach and what I expect. We are all having to learn how to love each other and be with each other so much of the time.
Long gone are the perfected lesson plans. As great as they were, they were too perfect. We aren't a perfect people and I can't expect that. We have a more simplistic plan now and I can't promise that it is filled out each week, but I 'm trying. We still have a daily schedule, but it changes. Often. Very often. We had started with everyone at the table doing school together, but only in the last few days, have I migrated into my office and started pulling one kid in at a time to work individually. That was one of their suggestions. They have a hard time focusing on tests and their harder subjects, so by working at my desk, they work faster and feel more confident. I can work with that.
We still have a great little "school area" in our dining room that one day will hopefully have a white board and lots of maps and globes and books. It makes me feel good to sit in that room with them all and see little lights click on above their heads. I've only had one mental breakdown with math. This English major claims that as success! However, I blame the ruler manufacturer for even that one. We try and spend one day a week at our library, where we don't even need a library card because they all know us. Oh and our LOVE project? It's a challenge. We are being stretched. We are learning that sometimes in order to grow in certain areas, we have to become very uncomfortable. That's both literal and figurative.
Me? I'm learning that sometimes I can't be perfect. I might have dreams of granduer for our whole homeschool project and while some of them will come to pass and we'll be successful, most probably won't AND THAT'S OKAY. I didn't start this process with the thought that I had to be perfect. My "self" just crept into my plans. While being a perfectionist is helping me in a lot of areas, it's also helping me realize how perfect some imperfections are. Our daily work is happening and we are doing great. It's not perfect by most standards, but for now? It's what we need... which makes it perfect. ;)
~ c
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